please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
