we have officially mastered the walk of shame
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
