Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
