I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
