He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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