Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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