So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
