I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
