I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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