am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize