he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
