everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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