Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
