some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
