Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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