I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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