New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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