found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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