Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
