I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
