i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
