forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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