The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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