I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
