do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
