Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
