that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I pour the whiskey from now on
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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