I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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