why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
