Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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