How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
