the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
