Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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