found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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