Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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