The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
