So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
