She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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