How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize