i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
