when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
