Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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