my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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