kristin has been a bad kristin
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
God, I missed his penis.
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