dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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