I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
