I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize