i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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