I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What a dumb baby whore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
