i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
