Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
