i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
