Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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