he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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