we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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